I am of the Catholic religion, and in my religion I am supposed to always forgive people for what they have done wrong. I still believe that all situations cannot be forgiven. According to Harry Wu, who was imprisoned in a Chinese labor camp for nineteen years, he wouldn’t be able to forgive someone asking for forgiveness on their death bed, but would tell them that they were responsible for their own actions and for what they have done. I agree with Harry’s opinion on forgiveness, because no matter what someone forces you to do, you always have a choice of whether to do or not.
The Nazi soldier in Simon Wiesenthal’s book “The Sunflower” had a moral choice in if he really wanted to take part in mass murdering millions of innocent Jews during the Holocaust, whether he believed or not. Trying to ask for Simon’s forgiveness was too large of a step. I don’t blame Simon for not giving the soldier an answer, because personally I don’t think that I could have done it either. It is a different story when you are talking about trying to forgive someone who has just assisted others in the mass murdering of innocent people.
If someone took my family away from me and killed every one of them I think I would hunt that person down and make sure that they got the punishment that they deserved. I would not be able to forgive them even if they asked for forgiveness because I would never be able to move on with my life. I would never be able to replace my family, and I would not be able to forget what happened to them and the memories I had of them. Trying to imagine all of the scars that would be left behind in your memory and knowing that you could never get the ones that you loved back would force me into not forgiving them, even if I am supposed to according to my religious beliefs.
I believe that to forgive someone that you would have to forget about what happened or at least be able to move on and replace what you had lost. Replacing a loved one that had been killed is impossible, but a simple item or something that you loved but is temporary, is possible to replace. Trying to forgive a Nazi soldier would be unreal. Knowing that they took something away from you that you could never get back, and knowing that it would be almost impossible to forget about what had happened in that horrific event.
I personally have some scenarios in which I would forgive and which I would not forgive. Back when I was a sophomore in high school I was dating a guy that I dearly loved, and couldn’t imagine being without. A few months into our relationship he fell for a different girl and broke up with me. I was completely heartbroken, and couldn’t even begin to understand why he would do such a thing to me.
The next week he called me and asked the strangest question, and I didn’t know how to respond when I heard it. He asked me if I could forgive him for what he did to me, even though he knew it was wrong. I just sat there silent on the other end of the line wondering what I should tell him back. In my moment of thinking I realized that everything happens for a reason when it comes to relationships. I decided that I could forgive him, even though he made me feel horrible and broke my heart in two. I decided to grant his forgiveness because I knew that I was only fifteen years old and I had a whole life ahead of me to find someone else to be with, and that I would make it without him in my life.
These types of situations I would be able to forgive in because sooner or later I would be moved on and would look back thinking that it was a good choice that he broke up with me. Any situations that would allow me to move on easily and forget what happened would be the situations that I would be able to forgive in.
In my life I have been through some things with my father and with other people that has made it very difficult for me to try to forgive them. I am still not sure whether to forgive my father or not for what he did to me. He put me through so much mental stress and pain that I am not sure how I kept going through it. He has affected me so much that I struggle with a lot things as an adult. He kept me away from having fun with friends and ever being involved with any types of school related activities. He never allowed me to grow up and do normal things that growing kids did. He mentally scarred me by telling me every day that I was worthless and I would never get anywhere in my life. These types of mental scarring left me with the question of whether I should ever forgive my father or not. To this day I am still not sure whether I should forgive him or not.
In being in a situation like the one with my father, I try to think positively about everything good that may come in the future. I try to put all of the mental scarring behind me and try to move on. I think that going through this with him has only made me a stronger and more outgoing person when it comes to reaching my goals in life. It also gives me an urge to help my friends in dealing with the same types of situations because I know that I have gone through the same thing and realize how to deal with it.
Forgiveness is something that every person has a different view point on. Some people may forgive and others may not forgive in certain scenarios. I try to make myself forgive everyone because of my religion but I cannot always do so. In my opinion I believe that I can forgive only if I can move on and forget. If I cannot move on and get back what I had lost then I cannot forgive. Today in my life I just keep focusing on the future and try to put anything bad that has happened to me behind me, no matter if I could forgive or not. I still wonder what, or if any situations will come up that I have to make a choice in whether to forgive or not forgive.