The possibility of forgiveness starts on behalf of the guilty and hinges on the perpetrators regret. The desire for forgiveness can come from multiple avenues, such as religion, political or social pressure or genuine remorse for the act and the pain it caused to the victim. Now of course all of these and more can, and often do, play a part in the motivation of the perpetrator to seek forgiveness. However, the facets of motivation, no matter what they might be for each individual, can be separated into two groups; spiritual or secular.
As mentioned earlier, there may be a variety of secular reasons for the guilty to begin seeking forgiveness but the ultimate goal regardless of the reason to initiate the process is to heal. This healing will bring the guilty to grips with the gravity of their crime and allow them to move past the incident. I would like to clarify that moving past and forgetting are not synonymous in this case. Moving past the experience is just the point where the guilty person can accept what they did and no longer feel consumed by guilt or regret. Tzvetan Todorov speaks of the importance of the guilty party to recognize the wrong they have done in order to start the forgiveness process in Simon Wiesenthal’s book ‘The Sunflower’. When discussing the SS Nazi soldiers guilt he says that he at least deserved “…recognition for embarking on that specifically human activity which consists of changing for the better” simply by realizing the wrong he committed and trying to atone for it. Regardless of the guilty party’s attitude however, secular forgiveness is between the two earthly parties involved. For the perpetrator to seek secular forgiveness requires the presence of the wronged. Without that presence there can be no true earthly forgiveness. Therefore, in the case of murder the murderer cannot be forgiven by the victim. In the case of murder however, the victim is not the only person who has been hurt. That victim’s family experiences the pain of the loss they suffered every day. The family’s forgiveness does not take the place of the victims but it can serve the same purpose of healing for the guilty in secular terms. Smail Balić has this to say in ‘The Sunflower’ when speaking of Simon possibly offering the dying SS man his forgiveness; “In this situation, forgiveness would have been only on his personal behalf, thus ruling out the notion of general absolution anyway. Still it would have accomplished its purpose”. The purpose he spoke of being to grant a remorseful, dying man a little bit of peace. Forgiveness from a third party isn’t true forgiveness but sometimes it is all that is possible and if the guilty truly are trying to right the wrong they committed, wouldn’t they seek out any possibility?
There are more than just secular incentives for seeking forgiveness though. In fact, probably the single most popular reason for a person to work towards forgiveness is the presence of religion in their lives. Religions around the world have taught forgiveness as a way of life for many centuries. Religion can provide motivation to seek secular forgiveness but it also adds another dimension to the process of forgiveness for the guilty person. If religion plays a role in their lives then the guilty not only have to seek forgiveness from the effects people on earth, they have to try and obtain forgiveness from their God as well. In terms of theological forgiveness, I believe everything is forgivable. As far is God is concerned, if true regret and remorse is present than the act can be forgiven be Him. There may be a penance involved but that is up to their God’s discretion and the act of penance is irrelevant to the possibility of forgiveness.
Forgiveness for the victim is also multi-dimensional. In secular terms, the victim has to be able to hear the plea for forgiveness from the perpetrator and then has to determine if they are going to grant forgiveness. Because forgiveness is a way to except and deal with events of the past, the victim has to be ready to move forward with their life. The victim also needs to see the guilt that the wrong doer has. True regret for an act of the past changes a person from who they were when the wrong was committed. Without that regret they’re the same person, and the same person would do the same thing again. And that cannot be forgiven. With forgiveness, a victim can focus on their future and not dwell on the horrible experience they had in the past. Forgiveness is the way to a happier future, an escape from bitterness and hate. I think most people would agree that forgiveness is a good thing for these victims but that knowledge doesn’t make the process any easier to accomplish, or even to undertake. When discussing the process of forgiveness, Desmond Tutu points out “forgiveness is not facile or cheap. It is a costly business that that makes those who are willing to forgive even more extraordinary.” I agree with him how though forgiveness is often taught, to forgive such horrible crimes and experiences is truly remarkable.
Faith also plays a pivotal role in the victim’s decisions as well. If they are a religious person they were probably taught to give forgiveness to those who wronged them. Most religions teach forgiveness as a way to approach hurt and with that religious input the victim may seek to grant forgiveness. Faith is often used as a channel for pain of any kind. Religion gives people hope for the future, hope for a future without the kind of pain they are suffering from. Religion will help to lead victims to forgiveness and thus to healing.
The issue of forgiveness is a complex and variable one, with no easy answers. The word itself often has different meanings between individuals, cultures and religions. But the one thing that is universal is the power forgiveness has on the people who experience it, who give it or who seek it. Forgiveness is a life changing process that offers hope for an end, an end to pain, bitterness and hatred. Forgiveness is a step toward creating a better future.